What My Heart is Made Of
by Lil.Miss.Moonie
Summary: The life of a girl who falls in love with Ginko and attempts to find where his travels have taken him.
1. Introduction

**What My Heart is Made Of**

I am _not_ Mushi Master. I am a 17-year-old teenage girl with yellow hair and blue eyes.I'm tired of ever old coot who lives up in a mountain tell me it's my destiny to protect the world. Please. I've already decided my destiny.

I'm going to become an actress!

Yes, you heard me right. An actress. My mother used to call me a drama queen, but she always grinned and giggled, so I knew she's just joking around.

Whenever I squealed at the wriggly little glowing bugs crawling around my room, my mother would sigh and say, "Alright little drama queen, I'll get rid of the bugs." She never seemed to _see_ the things, but whatever, they just floated there.

When I brought my father a strange looking animal I found outside our house, he ruffled my hair and said I had quite an imagination. Then he would go back to reading the paper or something while I put my newest find in one of my mother's jars and put it in my room.

My grandmother would always give the weird creatures little names. I can't remember any right now, but whatever.

And then there was my future husband, Ginko. He always dropped by a few times every year, and he'd tell me stories about the things he would find. Sometimes, if he stayed for a few days, we'd set up a futon in m room and he'd give me names about my little collections. The names were always the same ones my grandmother gave me, but Ginko's voice was much nicer to listen to. Other nights we would go camping in the woods. He'd tell me about a river that I had never heard of. One that was full of little glowing things and that he could see when he closed his eyes. I could never see it, but I didn't care.

Okay, so Ginko wasn't honestly my future husband. He never really proposed to me, but he did give me a really cool ring a while back. It was gold "like my hair," he said, with a jewel in the center that was blue "like my eyes." He told me to never ever lose it, so I kept it safe and never took it off.

So my life was peaceful with my collections and my family and my love life. And everyhing was perfect... until my mother began to wonder where her glass jars were going. One day she wandered into my room and found it full of glass jars of grass and mud and dirt and mushrooms. She screamed at me until her face turned red and my grandmother awoke from her nap. When she saw my mother dumping the dirt and debris outside of my window, she freaked out.

"Don't you dare toss those materials out!" my grandmother screamed. She tried to pry a jar from my mother's hands, but it slipped and shattered on my bedroom floor. I watched in horror as something slimy and gross - something I _know _I didn't put in that jar earlier that year - slid across my floor and crawled into a hole in the floorboards. My grandmother saw it, too, and she shrieked, "Now look what you've done! We have to burn this house immediately!" She pulled a match from her pocket and struck it. My mother blew it out and I slunk out of my room while the two argued amongst eachother.

My grandmother left that night.

She never came back.

***

The next time Ginko visited, I told him everything that had happened. So he sat down to talk with my parents. I hid, eavesdropping in the next room.

"Your mother was right," he said. "It would be better if you burned this house, and everything in it. Better yet, just leave your home and possesions here and don't return."

An argument arose between my parents and Ginko. (although, Ginko never rose his voice or anything - he's just cool like that). My father screamed at him to leave and stay away from our property. I ran into the living room and flung myself into Ginko's arms. Crying, I begged him not to leave, and I begged my parents not to banish him from our home. But our father was persistant, and as Ginko was leaving, he bent down and whispered into my ear.

"Give me that ring I gave you."

My ring.

I looked down at my hand with the ring still on my finger. I looked up at his face and hesitaited. This ring was all I had to remember him by. But then again...

"I love you, Ginko," I whispered. I slipped the beautiful momento into his hand.

He didn't return the love, but he did reply, "Promise me you won't stay in this house. Even if you have to leave your parents behind, do not stay here. Look for your grandmother when you leave." I nodded. And for a split second, I thought he was about to kiss me... but he never did.

I felt dissapointed, but when I saw my parents watching from the window and I set my emotions aside. I watched Ginko walk down our pathway... and he never returned to our house again.

***

I stopped looking for creatures after Ginko left. I was too afraid. Over the next six months, I began seeing things in the shadows, crawling up our walls. Five months later I finally caught one in candle-light; it looked like a spider. It had one big eye that stared at me for a second and seemed to stuff itself into a crack in my wall and disapear. I told my parents about it, but they just called me a drama queen.

One day, I woke up to find that my mother had a large burn mark on her leg. She couldn't see it, but every time the wind brushed past it, she would scream in agony. My father and I kept her locked in a seperate bedroom. Soon my father got one on his neck, and my mother's had taken up over her etire leg.

My parents were dying. I would have to take care of them.

If they died in my care, I'd feel miserable.

I was next in line.

One night, I light a match, dropped it at the base of our house and ran.

I never came back.

**To Be Continued...**


	2. Isolation

**(Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long. I didn't want to add another chapter unless someone reviewed the first part. :) Then vacation came and I couldn't get around to it until now. But here you are! Also, I've just recently made a few minor changes to the text, history-wise. :))**

**Part 2: Isolation**

It's a lot harder living out on your own than a person would think. I was afraid of the spiders I had seen in our house, so I didn't take anything with but my parents' money. I didn't think they'd ever need it again.

Since my parents, grandmother, and I lived out in the woods, alone and miles away from the nearest town, we didn't have a lot of money. But we were happily together, and to me, that's all that mattered.

I never really cared that I didn't have any friends my age, or that we could never afford to buy new things. In my head, my grandmother was my best friend and we didn't need to replace a single thing we owned if it was working fine.

Life is so good when you're oblivious.

But thinking negatively wasn't going to help me find my grandmother and Ginko. I couldn't just stay out in the forest forever; I had to find the town that was nearby. There I could buy supplies and food and ask around. I knew that Ginko was a wandering soul, but my tired old grandmother probably couldn't walk far like he could. It was obvious: she had gotten a job in town and taken residence in the local inn. So that's what I would do.

I had it all figured out.

So over several days, I trekked through the rough terrain of the forest. I may be a girl, but I'm pretty tough. Even at night, when the moon was hiding behind the clouds and the shadows in the trees were vicious-looking and every sound was bitter and terrible, I managed to sleep through it. I just kept my mind on one thing: Ginko.

Of course, I would find my grandmother, but Ginko...

Nonetheless, I wasn't going to give up now. Even when things got tough. I had already lost my shoes in a swampy area when the thick muck sucked them down, so barefoot was the way to go. I didn't mind; it's wasn't like I hadn't walked barefoot outside before. Food was easy, because the forest was littered with sweet berry bushes. As for water, I suppose I got all my water from juicy berries, so I didn't dehydrate or anything.

But you honestly won't believe how happy I was when I came across a lake, four days into my "adventure". After four days living wild, I desperately needed a bath. So I peeled off my dirty kimono, making sure to keep both peices of my slip on - who knows who could be lurking around? - and dove into the water. It was warm in the heat of the sun near the surface, but as a swam down, I realized it was getting noticably cooler. Finally, I surfaced.

As the sun slowly warmed my body, I was unaware that this was one of the last happy moments I would ever have.

***

_It wasn't long before I came across the town I was headed for. I was so relieved that the trip was shorter than expected. I ran straight towards the bright-looking town, so fast that I didn't noticed the large gorge between us. I fell a long way. I neared the hard bottom and with landed with a-_

Gasping, I sat straight up and the dream was gone. I awoke in a cold sweat and had only a quick second to duck my head. _Something _zoomed over my head faster than I could account for, but when I turned after it, it was gone. I was awake the rest of that night, and I stayed awake until the first signs of morning appeared. Then I wasted no time hurrying towards my goal.

At this point, the night scared me, and I tried to fall asleep before the darkness completely took over. Then I would wake up at dawn and run as fast as I could in the direction of the town. I wanted to quit, to find a house and meet the family and ask to stay. But every time I felt like quitting, Ginko entered my mind.

I would think, "If I'm this terrified after just a few days, I can only imagine his fear." Ginko, after all, had been traveling around for years. I would shake my head, clear all thoughts of leaving, and and go on. No matter how tired I was.

Things worked like this until, after twelve days, I reached the town.

***

It was about noon when I saw the town appear over the horizon. I recognized it because of the way my father had described it whenever he visited. The first building you could see was made of glorious yellow bricks and clay and caught the light in the most beautiful way.

After it, all the buildings were designed the same, beautiful bright bricks that almost burned your eyes if they caught too much light. Every window was shiny and spotless and the streets were busy with mothers and maids and housewives; with fishers and loggers and lumberjacks; with children playing running games and jumping games and keep-away games.

It looked like a paradise, and this time, it wasn't a dream.

It did, however, take a detour to cross the valley that seperated us. It was suspended by a beautiful-looking bridge, which I attempted to cross peacefully.

But one step was a disaster. The brick-design crumbled underneath my weight and a hole gaped in the lucious bridge. I shivered at the sight of one long endless hole when I realized something - the bridge was alive.

That little hole made the bridge ache and crumble and it swayed without a breeze to do so. Then it seemed to arch and I lost my balance and fell off onto the soft grass at near the beginning of it. And the bridge was still once more.

I sat in the grass, completely lost. A living bridge. I had never even heard of such a thing. I placed my hand on the railing and the bridge moaned again until I removed it. I wondered how I would be able to cross it. I mean, how can you cross something that doesn't want you to touch it? How did my father cross?

He had never mentioned a thing about a bridge anyway. According to him, the only way across this valley was to travel through it. Maybe he was right. Maybe I could never cross this bridge if I tried.

I lay in the grass and thought about this until, without realizing it, I fell asleep.

***

"Grandma! Grandma!"

It was a summer night outside a little home in the forest. A little girl with yellow hair and blue eyes ran towards a woman sitting outside her home with her eyes closed. The woman opened her eyes and yawned as the child ran toward her, holding something bright yellow in her tiny, pale hands.

"Yes, what is is Leia?" the woman asked, taking the object from her granddaughter's hands.

"Look! It's moving, Grandma!" As the little girl bounced up and down, the woman watched the stone in her hands rock gently back and forth. "See? What is it?"

"Ah, I see you've found a gold clay stone, Leia," the woman said patting the girl on the head. "There's a little creature in here, that can't live in the sunlight. When morning comes, it finds a gold clay stone and sinks into it to hide until it gets darker. Sometimes it gets stuck."

The woman stood and slowly walked over to a nearby tree whose trunk was surrounded by mushrooms. "Here," she said. "Watch what happens when I scratch the texture of the rock."

The little girl watched in amusement as a small, glowing creature arose out of the the stone. It was a deep shade of purple and the colour illuminated in her eyes. The girl and her grandmother watched it escape into the sky together.

***

I awoke more gently this time, still in the grass. But by now the sun was gone and replaced by the moon. Something glowing caught my eye and I turned in time to see the bridge was illuminated by orbs and blobs of deep purple light. They all rose up into the sky together. I silently watched until the bridge was free of the creatures. I stepped onto it, but it still moaned and swayed.

At first, I was lost again, then I realized the problem; I wasn't wearing shoes. My father would cross the bridge, and his shoes would scratch the surface of the gold bricks on it. He, like mother, could never see anything that my grandmother and I could.

Kneeling down, I scratched a brick with my fingernail, and the light poured out, floating around my hand and my face and into the sky. When no more escaped, I sighed and stood on the brick. The bridge remained still. Smiling, I took another step onto a different brick and the bridge swayed.

This was going to be grueling work.

***

I had worked all through the night and had finished as the sun began to rise. I was extremely tired and my body ached for sleep, but I trekked on to the town. Everyone there looked cheery and well rested and I felt envious. After ten minutes of wandering through town, I came across the inn. Happy as ever, I waltzed inside and went to the clerk at the front desk.

"Hello, sir?"

"Welcome to our inn, miss. Would you like a room?"

"Umm, actually, I wanted to stay with my grandmother. I think she's staying here. Her name is Koko, and she has silvery hair and a birthmark on her cheek, and she was born in-"

"Alright, alright, I'll check the database."

Silence.

"Hmm, yes, your grandmother Koko did check in with us, but it seems she checked out just last night. Well, you seem, tired. Maybe after a rest we can get in touch with neighbooring towns and check to see if-"

But I wasn't listening.

Just last night my grandmother was here. Just last night, while I was scraping bricks, my grandmother left this town that she had probably been in for about seven months while she waited for me. And right before I came here, he left. Just like that. _Just like that._

As many emotions I don't have names for washed over me, they overpowered my will to stay awake and I crumpled in exhaustion and disappointment.

**To Be Continued...**


	3. Shining Hope

**Yo. I know I haven't been on in a while, but my yak fell out of my pocket and starved to death so I had to wait a while before I could nurture his dying soul back to life. But he's living now, so I have returned! I also re-watched a lot of Mushi-Shi episodes to get my Ginko vibes a-flowin' so I'm totally back to this story now. -cheesy smile-**

**Part 3: Shining Hope**

By the time I woke up, the sun shining into my room told me it was already nearly noon. I was exhausted and my head was pounding. Once I finally sat up, it occurred to me that I was in this strange room and the air no longer smelled of fresh earth and pine. When I looked around, I could see only beautiful yellow furniture and the golden sunlight reflecting into my room to make it shine. I looked down, seeing I was still wearing my clothes.

Rubbing my eyes, I glance out the window to see a boy a bit younger than me pass by. He was smiling and talking to someone over his shoulder, someone I couldn't see. His arms held a bundle of carrots and I then noticed how hungry I was. I covered my grumbling stomach with my hands and inhaled again, smelling baking bread in the distance.

I must have been so absorbed in the change of surrounding that I didn't notice the sound of my door opening and someone unfamiliar to me entering the room. A cold hand rested on my shoulder and I turned completely around into the eyes of a woman with pale skin and dark eyes and face heavy with wrinkles.

"You're not just waking up now, are you?" she asked. Her accent was very foreign and I had little idea where she could have come from. She looked strict and very tired, so I nodded my head without uttering a reply. Her face did not change as she instructed me to go out and do something while she tidied up my room.

I frowned, knowing that I had done nothing than sleep in here and the sheets on my bed weren't even that messy, but refused to start an argument with this woman, so I hurried out, barefoot, into the lobby of the building.

The first thing I noticed was the man at the front desk. His head was lowered and he looked as if he was busy reading something. I hesitated, not wanting to disturb him, but forced my legs to move forward again and before I could react, I was standing in front of the desk again. The man raised his head and smiled a bit.

"Ah, you're awake. We were worried about your health. It seemed you fainted from exhaustion."

My cheeks turned the lightest shade of pink and I looked away to avoid turning completely red. It was then I realized something - I had just received a room for free. For the smallest increment of time I felt victorious, wanting to brag about it.

But then I felt guilty, knowing it wouldn't be fair when they had so kindly put me in a beautiful room until I could get completely rested. I made eye contact with the man again, chewed my lip a bit, and spoke.

"I suppose I should pay the fee for staying in that room, shouldn't I?"

You can't even imagine my surprise when the man shook his head. He then pulled something out of the compartments behind the desk and handed it to me. It was an envelope and had already been opened. With joy, I saw that the front of the envelope had by grandmother's name written in her beautiful cursive writing. Pulling out the letter, I felt all the previous day's work and turmoil lift on my shoulders as I read silently:

_To my granddaughter, Leia_

_If this is being read, chance may have it that either you, Leia, are reading this, or the lovely housekeeping woman I left this in my room for. I know that my Leia is a bright girl, and very brave, and I know that she will make it to this gold-laced inn in hopes of finding her dear old grandma. If this is you, dear, I must be the first to congratulate you. This town is many, many miles from our old home and the path is fairly dangerous. I believe myself lucky to have made it here at all._

_While I took up residence, I also worked at the bathhouse a little ways down this road - it was the only way I could afford living here so long. Enclosed is a small sum of my earnings. This shall be enough for you to pay for a few nights at the inn and maybe buy yourself something pretty before you leave. I do not want you to remain in this town for long, Leia. I have gone to the east, heading for a small fishing village and I will remain there for some time. I want you to meet me in that village, Leia, so you and I can find a nice home together. I won't be sending you any more letters, for my hands are old and writing hurts greatly, but you will always know where I have been, my dear._

_I know that one day you will receive this letter, perhaps very soon after I depart his lovely inn. I have stayed here very long, waiting for you, but I must leave this town, too. Now that I have the freedom to roam this land, I will take advantage of it, and travel very often. You are a very bright girl, dear, and I know you will be able to find me. You have special qualities that your parents, did not have. Perhaps when I see you again, you can tell me what became of my daughter and her husband. Just remember to keep your wits about you, and remember all the creatures we would talk about; that knowledge is very powerful._

_And, before I end this message, I tell you something very important. That man, Ginko, I have heard many rumors of him in this town. He has helped the people here before and was last seen when he was going off to the fishing village I am now heading for. Head in that direction to find us both, Leia. And remember that I love you, as does Ginko. Be brave, my little flower, and find us as fast as you can._

_With Love, As Always,_  
_Your grandmother, Koko_

I didn't even realize I was crying until the man at the front desk haded me a tissue. I wiped my eyes dry and sniffled, rereading the note. I was filled with such joy and hope that and hugged the man over his desk and danced my way back to my room. I don't care how weird and crazy I must have looked; I was going to find my grandmother!

* * *

I realize my grandmother's initial intention was to have me stay at the inn for a few days so I could relax, but I was too overjoyed to stay in one spot for long. I knew where my grandmother was, now. I knew that if I headed east I would be met with her and (hopefully) Ginko's smiling faces.

With the money I received from her, I bought a pack, a pair of plain shoes, and a few new clothes for my trip, along with several fruits. I stuffed the garments and supplies into my pack. I had completely ready to go, and yet, I felt empty. I knew I was full of food, since I had used some of the money for a big lunch. But I still felt a strange loneliness inside of me. I sat it such silence that when the door to my room opened again, I heard it clearly and turned my head to see the cleaning woman from before. Her face was still as strict as before and she shot me a crooked look.

"You're not still here?" she asked, sounding confused.

"No," I replied sarcastically, "I'm not here at all."

The woman, instead of giving me a nasty look like I had expected, laughed, the angry wrinkles in her face breaking into a smile. She laughed so hard that she doubled over and had to end up leaning on the dresser table nearby. I looked on, hating that this old hag was ridiculing me. I wanted to say something else - send her a biting comment - but her next words shocked me.

"You have the same sense of humor your grandmother warned me about, don't you?"

"You know my grandmother?"

"No. I don't know her at all," the old woman replied with a wink.

I said nothing as the woman crossed the room to the window, and leaned out of it, watching the people pass by. It occurred to me that this was the woman my grandmother had given the letter to. As the phrase _"the lovely housekeeping woman" _bounced around my head, I watched her reach into the pocket of her garment and pull out a pack of cigarettes. Images of Ginko flashed throughout my head as she lit it and blew smoke out the window. The smell still managed to reach me, but instead of the sweet grass smell of Ginko's cigars that I had become used to, it smell of dried plants and ugly smoke.

I decided right then, regardless of my grandmother's opinions, that I disliked that woman. Gathering my things, I walked out of the room and then the inn, waving goodbye to the man at the front desk, but still thinking negatively about her. As I crossed the window where she still stood smoking, she blew a straight stream of smoke into my face chuckling. I shot her a horrible look and she called after me, saying,

"Hey, now! I hope you find your grandmother! Say hello to her for me, yeah?" Her voice followed my down the street as I tried desperately to ignore her. Finally, after several minutes, I looked over my shoulder and saw that she was gone from the window, leaving only the faintest trail of ugly black smoke to ruin the beautiful blue sky and the dazzling gold brick of the town.

I scowled to myself and continued walking out of the town, until I reached an old building. I could tell it was abandoned from the bashed-in walls and structure. I almost walked past it, but I then noticed one of the golden bricks lying on the ground. I watched it closely wobble on the dirt, looked around, and scooped it up. It shook in my palm and for a second, I almost thought I remembered the name Ginko and Grandmother had given it. But then the memory left and all I had left was a stone, still rocking gently back and forth in my hand.

I stuffed it into my pack. _A memento, _I thought to myself. It occurred to me that this entire town was built out of these rocks, and must be completely filled with the little creatures. I wondered if people had ever had a building shake violently and been horribly confused as to why. I wondered if the people could even see the creatures or if they managed to find a way around the shaking. I wondered if Ginko had somehow fixed the town when he blew by, and if he fixed every town he neared.

As these thoughts filled my head, I spared one last glance over my shoulder and bid the shining people goodbye.

I headed east.

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
